Ohana
by KCUrquhart
Summary: The Avengers get a day off. Coulson decides that they're having a Disney movie marathon.


"This had better be damn good." Tony muttered as he shuffled into the living room, yawning widely. "I was in the middle of a dream."

"Good dream?" Steve asked, pushing past him with a soft smile. Steve settled on the long couch. At the opposite end from where Clint and Phil were cuddled. Natasha was sprawled out on one of the chairs while Bruce was in the other. Thor was still in the kitchen grabbing his morning allotment of pop-tarts. They had had to start rationing them, at the request of the Kellogg corporation.

"The best sort of dream." Tony smirked and curled up on Steve's lap. "You were there. And you were naked. And – "

"Tony!" Steve was blushing a deep shade of red and the others all just rolled their eyes or laughed.

"And – " Tony pressed on. "A very annoying message from Jarvis interrupted before anything fun could happen." Tony pouted.

"I would apologize, sir." Jarvis drawled. "However Agent Coulson had a very sound reason for wishing you to be awake this morning."

"But it's nine am!"

"Which for most of us is rather late." Natasha said.

"Ah! The Man of Iron has finally awoken!" Thor boomed as he made his way into the living room. He flopped down onto the other sofa in the room, somehow managing to take up the whole space. He had three boxes of poptarts in his hands. "Now the Son of Coul can inform us of the meaning of this gathering he has called."

Tony groaned. "It's too early for this shit. What the hell did he just say?" He turned to Steve, who rolled his eyes.

"Just shut up and listen."

Coulson shifted, as if to stand up to address the group, but Clint wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Coulson let out a small sigh but settled into Clint's grip. "I talked to Fury and, barring any super villain attacks, we have the day off." There was an outbreak of cheers and the group started talking, making plans for the free time. "So!" Phil shouted over them, waiting until they had settled down again before continuing. "I made a plan for us."

"Oh fuck no!" Tony swore. "I'm not doing paperwork when I could be screwing Captain America." Steve blushed again and Bruce choked back a laugh.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do other things besides paperwork."

"Like Clint." Natasha whispered and Clint shot her a death glare. She gave her best innocent smile.

"We've had a rough couple of weeks. I decided that to cheer us up, we're having a Disney movie marathon. Everyone gets to pick one movie. We all watch all of them." Phil spoke very pointedly at Tony who looked like he wanted to bolt from the room.

"Disney movies?" Bruce asked. "Really? Doesn't that seem sort of, I don't know, childish?"

"We act like a bunch of children every other day." Steve said, looking honestly excited.

"What are these Disney movies of which you speak?" Thor asked.

"Remember when we showed you the movie with the talking cats?" Natasha asked.

"Ah, the movies of much excitement!" They had told him they were animated movies and he had misunderstood. They all enjoyed his definition too much to correct him. Things like that happened a lot. They'd started calling them Thor-isms. "I much enjoy those! They cause me great cheer when my spirits are low."

"Which is exactly why we're watching them." Phil said. Tony started to protest again but Steve snuggled up against him and Tony fell silent instantly. "Who wants to start us off?" Phil looked around expectantly.

Bruce chimed up almost instantly. "Well, it's not actually a Disney movie, but how about Shrek?"

"The rules said DISNEY, try again." Clint said. Phil smacked him upside the head. "What?! It's a Disney movie marathon. You can't start it off with a DreamWorks movie."

"Sorry." Bruce started to apologize. "It's just." He got a strange look in his eye. "The other guy likes it." He all but whispered the words.

"Right then. Shrek it is!" Tony said loudly, breaking the awkward silence that had followed Bruce's words. "Jarvis."

"Already queuing it up, sir."

Shades lowered over the windows, blocking out the sunrise glinting off the skyscrapers and plunging the room into blackness. The massive tv screen flicked on and within seconds the opening scene was playing. They all fell into a comfortable silence. Broken only by the rustling of Thor opening yet another package of poptarts.

The silence didn't last long. It never did with them. None of them could stay quiet during a movie. It was a miracle that they'd managed to go ten minutes without talking.

"So does the other guy think he's Shrek or something?" Tony asked.

"You're welcome to ask him." Bruce smirked, an evil glint in his eye.

"If he's Shrek then your Donkey." Natasha said. "You two being BFFs and all."

"I'm pretty sure we all call you an ass anyway." Clint quipped.

"Oh ha ha. I'm a talking ass. So fucking funny. Who'd you be? Puss in Boots?"

"Just cause I have the best puppy-dog eyes." Clint widened his eyes and batted his eyelashes at Tony.

"That does not make sense. How can a feline have eyes of a puppy?" Thor asked, tossing aside the first now-empty poptart box and reaching for another.

"It's just a saying." Phil explained.

"I would like to see this canine-eyed feline."

"He doesn't come in until the second movie." Thor looked crestfallen and they all sighed as one. Realizing what was about to happen. "But we can watch it next, if you'd like?" Phil offered.

"I would be most pleased to view the continuation of this mighty epic. These creatures amuse me."

They ended up watching all four of the Shrek movies. Non-stop. Thor always got grumpy when they paused movies. So by the time the final credits rolled they were all starving and fighting to get to the nearest bathroom. After a quick lunch they piled back into the living room, settling back into their same spots.

"I would like to make a request for our further viewing." Thor looked at Phil almost shyly. The emotion looked weird on the god's strong face.

"We all get to pick a movie." Phil assured him.

"Two guesses what it is." Tony muttered. Steve and Tasha both shot him evil glares. They all knew Thor loved Lion King.

They only managed to stay silent for three minutes this time. Mostly because Thor started yelling the second Scar had appeared. He shouted at the characters, telling them to watch out, or not to do something, despite knowing exactly what was going to happen. His sobs when Scar threw Mufasa into the stampede were loud enough that Phil was tempted to call Jane.

Finally Steve pushed Tony off of where he'd cuddled into Steve's lap and went over to comfort the god. "We don't have to watch the rest." Steve offered.

"No. We shall not let this sadness and betrayal stop our advancement." Thor wiped a huge hand at his eyes.

"Okay," Tony started. "I get it. Mufasa's Odin and Scar's Loki and you're Simba. But why the hell do you watch this movie if it upsets you so much? It's not like you don't know what Scar's going to do."

"I keep hoping that Scar will see reason. That he will change. That he will forgive the imagined slights against him and return to his family."

"Oh." Even Tony knew enough to let the issue drop. At least for a little while. Until the next scene where Scar and the hyenas were talking. "Wait. If Scar's Loki does that mean Clint's Ed?"

The air seemed to vanish from the room. They all looked at Tony, then Clint, then back to Tony. Waiting for some sort of explosion.

"What?" Tony was genuinely confused. "Clint was Loki's flying monkey for a while. And he's not smart enough to be Shenzi or Banzai. That'd be Selvig. So Clint's Ed."

"Tony." Steve snapped, finally causing the other man to look over at Clint who had turned deathly white. His hands clenched into tight fists. His body was shaking slightly as Phil ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.

"Shit." Tony grumbled. "I didn't – It's just – Oh come on! The hyenas end up winning anyway. They tear Scar to shreds after Simba kicks him off Pride Rock." His words caused Thor to whimper. Steve stared pointedly at him, silently telling him to apologize then shut the hell up. "Fuck this. I am not drunk enough to deal with this shit." He strode out of the room.

When Tony finally returned he brought a bottle of beer for Clint and a fifth of Jager for Thor. His form of an apology. Clint took his without looking up but his shoulders relaxed slightly as he took a swig. Thor beamed and all but tackled Tony in a bear hug.

Then it was Natasha's turn. She chose Fox and the Hound. They managed to stay silent for almost half the movie, thanks mostly to her threat that if anyone ruined this movie for her, she'd castrate them. Natasha, Clint and Phil's eyes stayed glued to the screen the entire time. The only words any of them spoke was when Tasha had whispered something about Budapest.

After Tasha was Clint. Jarvis had Robin Hood playing before the archer could even open his mouth.

"Puss grew up and got himself a bow." Tony smirked.

"You're just jealous that your knight can't ride on a pristine white horse anymore." Clint shot back. Referring back to when Donkey had been changed into a stallion.

"But he still gets ass whenever he wants."

They would have kept going if Phil hadn't chosen that moment to rub at the back of Clint's neck. Causing Clint to practically purr with how wonderful it felt. Steve resorted to shutting Tony up by kissing him. Which Tony seemed more than okay with. "You guys are idiots." Natasha rolled her eyes but Clint saw her smile.

Tony chose Wall-E. Then proceeded to keep up a running commentary pointing out all the flaws in the science. Even Bruce would chime in every so often. Steve just asked if they could watch Hello Dolly sometime. Thor passed out halfway through, slipping into a poptart induced food coma. His snores so loud that Jarvis had to turn on the subtitles. Which subsequently caused Clint to stop actually watching the movie, too focused on reading the words at the bottom of the screen.

Steve picked Snow White. Which Tony laughed at. "You said you hated that movie. Reminded you of a bad date or something like that."

"Yeah, well, I figured it'd be better than Dumbo." Steve rubbed self-consciously at the back of his neck.

"It's fine, Cap." Clint said. "I have more good memories than bad ones with the circus."

Finally it was Coulson's turn. They all waited patiently to see what movie he'd pick. "Jarvis?"

"Same as what you told me earlier?"

"Of course. But first. Dinner."

Clint narrowed his eyes at Phil, sensing that this whole day had been about a bit more than just Disney movies. If he'd picked out the movie ahead of time then it had been part of a plan. He was up to something. Dinner was just as quick as lunch had been. Only exceedingly more animated as they discussed the movies. No one bothered to point out the obvious. That they were enjoying today, even if it was sort of childish. It was nice to not be superheroes and master assassins for a day.

When they had settled back into their spots Jarvis started the movie. They all cocked their heads; none of them were familiar with it.

"I saw commercials for this. But I never went to see it." Bruce said. The 'because I was on the run' went unsaid.

"Same here. Can't remember the name of it." Natasha squinted her eyes, obviously scouring her memory.

The title popped up. Lilo & Stitch.

They stayed silent. Or mostly silent. Only a few hushed words at the most intense moments. They all stared, fascinated. At the emotional climax, Phil just leaned back, with a smug look on his face, as the others all started tearing up. Though most of them would deny letting a children's movie getting to them. The silence lasted as the credits started rolling.

"You bastard." Clint punched Phil on the arm. "You set us up! You thought this movie would make us bond and become a family or some shit so you tricked us into watching it!"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that." Phil detangled himself from Clint's arms and started out of the room. "But if you all got something out of it, then I'm not going to complain." He started to duck out of the room but Steve called after him.

"Hey, uh, Phil? Do you think we could watch it again?"


End file.
